Yesterday,out of the blue,Rapper Juliani put his rap mates on blast. And grandiosely declared himself the better rapper of all his peers combined. Phew! What a break from all he’s been up to lately… Saving elephants,saving the World,protecting water catchment areas,reclaiming lost land,launching forests,being Wangari Maathai,etc etc
Juliani, for those still shocked at his sudden decision to launch an all-out rap feud with his fellow rappers,started his rap game in the dirty,hard-core trenches of Dandora. Unable to make it and stand out and even earn a coin from his very underground rap,he decided to find Jesus. And tweak his music to sound a little church-y. And less Dandora menacing. It worked. And from then on,we started calling him a ‘Gospel Artist’.
He didn’t bless us with church tunes,however. Or music we’d worship along to. Despite the fact that he was now a’ Gospel Artist ‘,Juliani still kept his old rap flow. And old rap mentality. And old rap rhymes. And old rap schemes.
He was more like a street prophet than a Gospel artiste. But does the average Kenyan music consumer care? Hardly.
So yesterday,many years after he blasted into the scene and married one of the most beautiful lasses in the TV industry,Juliani showed up on Twitter with his modesty missing. Declaring himself the best and all. Oh, the humility of Jesus.
So,quickly,let’s forget his love for God and acceptance (or lack thereof) of Christ and launch straight to Juliani the rapper. Not Juliani the Evangelist.
He outrageously claimed that he can outrap Khalighaph Jones,Rabbit and Octopizzo. Combined. Man,it takes balls.
It hurts to be Juliani’s pastor right now.
Anyway,that quickly degenerated into a fiery Trending topic titled #WhoIsKing.
So,really,Who is King?
Juliani cannot be because,first,he,oh well,is born again. You are not going to quote the bible allover here,inspire Sunday School kids,drop evangelism bars and perform at Keshas and still go for Earthly rap crowns. Choose a master.
Two,he’s not been in the game for a minute. The Juliani effect sort of rubbed away. It’s no longer as potent as it was some couple years back. He made powerful friends and dined too much with corporate royalty that he somehow forgot to rap. And almost quit rap…To concentrate on signing cheques and showing up for Charity Benefit concerts.
Thirdly,he lacks the mojo. The charisma. The brouhaha. The machismo. The grit. The rawness. The image. The roar….Although we shouldn’t forget that he’s a THUG!
Fourth,he’s been singing too much of late. Even his raps are sing-song. Sort of like Future. Or T Pain. Without the auto tune. No raps bro. Where’s the raps!? The bars!??
So what’s Juliani the King Of? Well,LYRICISM.
Juliani is a master songwriter. The Ed Sheeran of Dandora. He can outwrite you. And outshine you with incredible skill and ease. He’s the boss of the pen. The most amazing and superior songwriter of our times. His songs have lines that make you sit up and think. Deep. Poignant. Funny. Classic. Philosophical. Masterly. And epic.
All of his songs,from ‘Biceps’ to ‘Utawala” boast of nothing but the most brilliant songwriting from the most exemplary man to ever pen a lyric in Kenya. No need for a ghost writer. Juliani is The Boss. Of the pen.
His adeptness at song writing,his prowess at weaving musical lines together,mashing them up and coming up with superior poetic ability is unrivaled.
Even judging by the way he masterfully handled the Twitter kerfuffle,with clever lines,witty comebacks and hard-hitting punchlines,You can truly agree,No one comes close to Julinai. As far as bars are concerned,he’s thee god.
His word play? Sent from Heaven.
He’s THE KING. OF THE PEN….Period!